Divorce Mediation in New York

Divorce mediation is about you and your soon to be ex-spouse taking controll of your own divorce and deciding what is best for the both of you and most importantly, your family. During the mediation process, you and your spouse meet with a neutral third party, the mediator, and work through the issues needed to resolve your divorce so the two of you can end your marriage as amicably and cost-effectively as possible. The issues covered include but are not limited to the following:

• Distribution of Property (Assets/Liabilities)
• Child Custody and Parenting Time
• Child Support/Maintenance
• Retirement
• Taxes

In mediation, the couple, with the help of the mediator, works out agreements on the above issues. Sometimes agreements come easy, sometimes they take time and a lot of work. When agreements are hard to reach, that is when the mediator intervenes. It is the mediator’s job to keep the lines of communication open, brainstorm ideas, reality test the couple, teach empathy, and assist the couple in their decision-making process. Mediators help keep the couple focused on the issues at hand and help them to stay on track.

How Does Divorce Mediation Work?

A divorce mediator acts as a neutral third party and doesn’t “work” for either spouse. That means the mediator cannot give advice to either party. They must remain neutral no matter what the situation is.

What the mediator can do, is assist the divorcing couple in formulating ideas that can eventually lead to agreements that will stand the test of time and be beneficial for both parties. That open and free exchange of information frees up both spouses to negotiate with each other in confidence. Because both spouses are working with the same base of information, it usually takes far less time to negotiate a resolution that makes sense to both spouses.

Mediation is voluntary. It continues only for so long as all three parties – you, your spouse, and the mediator – want it to. Mediations can be conducted weekly, every two weeks, monthly or however often the couple wants them to be. This is their mediation and they decide everything in the process.

Who is a Good Candidate for Mediation?

Mediation can be a great option for many couples, but it doesn’t work for every couple. In order to find success from the mediation process you and your ex-spouse will need to be:

• Willing to work together — Couples who are willing to work together to find a solution that works for both parties are good candidates for mediation. This means being open to compromise and negotiation.
• Able to communicate in a positive manner — Effective communication is key to a successful mediation process. Couples who are able to communicate effectively with each other and with the mediator are good candidates for mediation.
• Trusting of one another — Mediation requires a level of trust between the parties. Couples who trust each other enough to work together towards a solution are good candidates for mediation.
• Willingness to disclose all information — Mediation requires full disclosure of financial and other relevant information. Couples who are willing to disclose this information are good candidates for mediation.
• The ability to be in control of your own emotions — Divorce can be an emotionally charged process. Couples who are able to control their emotions and maintain a level of respect and civility towards each other are good candidates for mediation.

If any of the abilities seem like a significant challenge to you or your ex-spouse you may want to consider a different type of divorce option in New York.

How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?

The length of mediation depends on what issues have been agreed to prior to mediation and those issues that need to be addressed during mediation. Also, the amount of time spent in mediation is contingent upon you and your spouse’s willingness to come to agreements that are equitable for the both of you. As well as, your willingness to do what is in the best interests of your children if there are children involved. The time spent in mediation can be reduced if you and your spouse are able to come to agreements prior to mediation, or at the least, narrow down your options to a few workable ones. 

The Benefits of Divorce Mediation in New York

Many individuals find divorce mediation in New York very beneficial for a variety of reasons. One of the benefits people enjoy the most is that mediation is private and confidential, unlike court proceedings, which are usually public. Mediation is also more flexible and confidential. It gives you and your spouse a way to settle the conflict between you in a way that helps you to work together as parents. This is extremely important if you have children and must interact with your ex-spouse after you are divorced. Meditation brings about communication between the couple, which can then be used when they must discuss issues pertaining to the children. Lack of communication may have been one of the main reasons for their divorce. Mediation has the ability to help the couple learn to communicate again, if only for the sake of the children, and make their post-divorce relationship better than their married one. Additionally mediation can expedite the divorce process and be more cost-effective. If you have questions about your divorce, contact one of the highly skilled divorce attorneys at Brian D. Perskin and Associates.