A parenting plan is the part of a divorce settlement or custody agreement that says who makes decisions for your children, where they sleep on any given night, and what happens when something changes. This tool builds one. Answer nine short sets of questions and it drafts a complete New York parenting plan you can print, edit, and bring to your attorney, with a parenting schedule matched to your children’s ages and the distance between your homes.
It also shows you the year on a calendar. Every holiday and school recess you choose is applied to real dates, so you can see who has Thanksgiving, which parent has the children over winter recess, and how the alternation flips in the following year. That calendar prints with the plan.
Free, and there is no email gate. The plan is yours the moment it is generated.
What a New York parenting plan has to cover
In New York a parenting plan is not a separate court filing. It is folded into the settlement agreement or the stipulation, and once the judge signs the judgment it has the force of a court order.
New York has no statewide fill-in-the-blanks parenting plan form that every county uses, and no statutory presumption of equal time. Judges in Kings County and New York County decide custody on the best interests of the child under Domestic Relations Law section 240, and they approve parenting plans that are specific enough to enforce. The court system’s own custody and visitation pages for New York City Family Court set out how a petition proceeds if you cannot agree. A plan that says “reasonable and liberal parenting time as agreed” is not enforceable, and it is the first thing that fails when the relationship sours.
| Element | What it needs to say | Skipped it? |
|---|---|---|
| Legal custody | Who decides on education, non-emergency medical care, religion, and activities, and how a deadlock breaks | Both parents can act, so both do, and neither can undo the other |
| Residential schedule | Named days, named times, and what happens in a school holiday week | Unenforceable. Police will not act on “reasonable” time. |
| Holidays | A table, holiday by holiday, with odd and even years assigned | The plan is renegotiated every November |
| Exchanges | Time, place, who drives, what counts as late | Most common source of contempt motions |
| Relocation | A notice trigger and a consent or court-order requirement | A move becomes a full Tropea hearing with no agreed baseline |
| Communication | How the parents talk, and how each parent reaches the children | Phone contact becomes a bargaining chip |
| Dispute resolution | Mediation, a coordinator, or a professional’s call before anyone files | Every disagreement is an order to show cause |
| Modification | A review point, and the standard for changing the plan | Any change needs a substantial change in circumstances |
Best interests, and what that phrase actually means
There is no single test behind that phrase. New York courts weigh a list of factors, and no one of them decides the case. The ones that come up most often in Brooklyn and Manhattan custody matters are:
- Which parent has been the primary caretaker, and how stable the current arrangement is (see physical custody and joint custody for how New York labels the outcomes)
- Each parent’s work schedule and childcare plan, in practical detail
- Each parent’s ability to meet the children’s physical and emotional needs
- Whether either parent will support the children’s relationship with the other, which courts watch closely
- Any history of domestic violence, substance misuse, or untreated mental illness
- The home environment and the educational opportunities each household offers
- Keeping siblings together
- The children’s own preference, weighted by age and maturity, usually heard through an attorney for the child rather than in open court
Of those, the first carries more weight than most parents expect.
“One thing that judges and divorce attorneys focus on in custody cases is who was the primary caregiver leading up to the filing of the case. Sometimes this is an obvious answer, and sometimes it isn’t. But it is important to know that the system is going to start by favoring the primary caregiver as continuing to be the person to have primary custody of the child.”
Brian D. Perskin, Esq., The Ultimate Guide to Child Custody, Guiding Principle #2: How Is Custody Determined?
That is a starting point, not a conclusion, and it can be answered. But a proposal that departs sharply from who has actually been doing the school runs needs a reason behind it, which is why the builder asks the question and flags the gap.
In a contested case the court will often appoint an attorney for the child, and sometimes a forensic evaluator. Both cost money and both take months, and our note on what a forensic evaluation involves is worth reading before you agree to one. A parenting plan the two of you build and sign avoids that entirely, which is the strongest practical argument for doing this work before anyone files a motion.
Choosing a schedule your children can actually live with
Age matters more than fairness arithmetic. Very young children need frequent contact with both parents and short gaps, which is why a week on and week off schedule is a poor fit under about age four and a good fit for teenagers who want fewer transitions and a stable base for homework and friends.
A schedule also has to survive the life you actually lead. Brian Perskin’s blunt version in The Ultimate Guide to Child Custody is that a parent working eighty hours a week is unlikely to be the primary custodian or to share equal time, and that a lawyer who encourages them to argue for it anyway “is doing you a great disservice.”
Commute matters second. Equal time across a 60 minute trip means a child leaves for school at a different hour depending on the night, and that shows up in the child’s week long before it shows up in anybody’s argument. Where the households are genuinely far apart, the honest answer is a school-year home plus a long summer and break block for the other parent, not a 50/50 schedule that nobody can keep.
This is worth thinking about before you sign a lease, not after. Moving somewhere cheaper across the borough is the decision that quietly settles your parenting schedule for the next decade.
“The farther you live from the other parent, the more difficult it is going to be for you to share time with your child, and to effectively co-parent the child. Be very mindful of where you decide to live when you separate.”
Brian D. Perskin, Esq., The Ultimate Guide to Child Custody, Guiding Principle #2: How Is Custody Determined?
The third thing is whether the two of you can talk to each other. Parents who communicate well end up with more equal schedules, and courts are quick to limit a parent’s time on the view that the two of you cannot co-parent. That is a finding you can influence long before anyone files.
Overnights are also the currency the child support formula uses, so the schedule and the money are linked. Under New York’s Child Support Standards Act the non-custodial parent pays a percentage of combined parental income, 17 percent for one child, 25 percent for two, 29 percent for three, 31 percent for four, and no less than 35 percent for five or more, applied up to a statutory income cap with the court able to go above it. The percentages are set out in DRL 240(1-b) and the state publishes the annual Child Support Standards Chart. Once you know your overnight split, our maintenance and child support calculator will run the numbers. Shared schedules do not automatically cancel support, and the parent with the greater income is often still the payor even under an equal schedule.
| Schedule | Share of overnights | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| Alternating weekends plus a midweek dinner | The traditional New York schedule, any age | |
| Extended alternating weekends, Thursday to Monday | More time without more handovers | |
| Alternating weekends plus a midweek overnight | Close homes, no long gaps | |
| 5-2-2-5 | School-age children, fixed weekday rhythm | |
| 2-2-3 | Toddlers and young children, no gap over three days | |
| 3-4-4-3 | Equal time with only two handovers a week | |
| Week on, week off | Teenagers, rigid work schedules | |
| Long-distance | School-year home plus extended summer and recesses |
Holidays are where a schedule meets reality
A parenting schedule on its own is a rhythm. What parents actually argue about is the collision between that rhythm and the calendar: whose week Thanksgiving falls in, what happens when winter recess starts on a Thursday, which parent had the children last Fourth of July. New York courts expect a parenting plan to answer those questions in advance, holiday by holiday, with odd and even years assigned.
Parents who are getting along often want to leave this loose, and that instinct is understandable. It is also the single most reliable way to end up back in court.
“It is always best when the parties can be flexible and work together when it comes to visitation schedules, especially during the holidays. However, you should still be very specific when drafting your parenting plan with regard to visitation schedules. This is because if you do get into a situation where you are not cooperating or cannot agree, the terms of your visitation schedule as described in your custody documents will dictate what you end up doing as it relates to visitation.”
Brian D. Perskin, Esq., The Ultimate Guide to Child Custody, Guiding Principle #7: Crucial Provisions to Include in Your Final Custody Documents
A specific schedule does not prevent the two of you from agreeing to something else on the day. It decides what happens in the year you cannot agree.
The builder above does this on real dates for the twelve months ahead. It knows the New York City public school recess weeks, and it places the observances that follow a lunar calendar, including Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Diwali, Lunar New Year and the two Eids, so a plan built here does not quietly assume every family keeps the same holidays.
The clauses worth arguing about
Most of a parenting plan is uncontroversial. A handful of provisions do the real work of keeping it out of court, and a couple are less obviously good ideas than they look.
Mandatory mediation before anyone files. The cheapest clause in the document. It requires the two of you to attempt to work out a disagreement before either of you spends money on a motion. If you are early enough in the process, mediating the whole case is worth considering on its own terms.
An attorney’s fees clause for non-performance. Fee-shifting against a parent who ignores the agreement changes the arithmetic of ignoring it, which is why Brian Perskin calls it “always a good idea” in The Ultimate Guide to Child Custody.
A named tiebreaker for small decisions. Not every disagreement is worth a motion, and a limited third-party decision-maker resolves the ones that are not.
Right of first refusal, with a caveat. This one is popular and is not always a good idea.
“While this may sound like a good idea, most courts think of periods of responsibility as being that parent’s time with the child whether they are available or not, and that means it is perfectly acceptable to have grandparents, or someone else care for the child during that time. Rights of first refusal can also feel very burdensome and controlling. But they can also be helpful, especially when one of the parents travels a lot.”
Brian D. Perskin, Esq., The Ultimate Guide to Child Custody, Guiding Principle #7: Crucial Provisions to Include in Your Final Custody Documents
The builder includes all four. Turn the right of first refusal off unless one of you genuinely travels, and set its trigger generously rather than at a few hours.
Relocation, the clause people wish they had written
New York decides relocation under Tropea v. Tropea, 87 N.Y.2d 727 (1996). There is no presumption either way and no mileage threshold in the statute. The court weighs each parent’s good faith, the child’s attachment to each parent, whether a schedule can be built that preserves a meaningful relationship with the parent staying behind, the effect on the child’s quality of life, the degree of hostility between the parents, and the effect on extended family.
A plan that sets its own notice trigger and its own distance does not override Tropea, but it gives the court a baseline both parents agreed to when nobody was angry, and it usually prevents the move from happening first and the litigation happening after. We go deeper in how New York courts decide relocation cases and in relocation after divorce.
Frequently asked questions
Is a parenting plan legally binding in New York?
Not on its own. A parenting plan becomes binding when both parents sign it, it is acknowledged before a notary in the form required for a deed, and it is incorporated into a court order or a judgment of divorce. Until then it is a proposal. Once incorporated, it is enforceable by contempt, and changing it later requires showing a substantial change in circumstances.
Does New York start from a 50/50 custody presumption?
No. New York has no statutory presumption of equal parenting time and no presumption favoring either parent. Custody is decided on the best interests of the child under Domestic Relations Law section 240. As Brian D. Perskin puts it in The Ultimate Guide to Child Custody, “50-50 custody is most often granted when the parties can communicate, and effectively co-parent their children. When those factors are not present, it is less likely that a court will grant 50-50 custody.” Equal schedules are approved often when the parents live close together and can talk to each other, and rarely when they cannot.
What is the difference between legal custody and physical custody in New York?
Legal custody is the authority to make major decisions about education, non-emergency health care, religion, and activities. Physical or residential custody is where the child lives day to day. They are decided separately, so joint legal custody with one primary residence is a very common New York outcome, as is a near-equal schedule with one parent holding final say on schooling.
Can we write our own parenting plan without going to court?
Yes. Our child custody FAQs cover the variations. Parents can agree on any arrangement that serves the children, and courts approve the large majority of negotiated plans. The plan still has to be properly executed and submitted with the divorce or custody papers, and a judge can reject terms that are not in the children’s interests. Having each parent’s own attorney review it before signing is what makes the difference between a plan that holds and one that gets relitigated.
How much parenting time does the non-custodial parent usually get in New York?
There is no set amount. A traditional New York schedule of alternating weekends plus a midweek dinner gives roughly 14 to 20 percent of overnights. Adding a midweek overnight or extending weekends to Thursday through Monday brings it to about 28 percent. Equal schedules such as 5-2-2-5, 2-2-3, and alternating weeks give 50 percent. What the court approves depends on the children’s ages, the distance between homes, and each parent’s availability.
At what age can a child decide which parent to live with in New York?
There is no age at which a child decides. A child’s preference is one of the best interests factors and carries more weight as the child gets older and shows maturity, with teenagers’ views given real consideration. The preference is normally conveyed through the attorney for the child, and a court can still order something different if the reasons behind the preference do not serve the child.
Can I move out of New York City with my child after a custody order?
Not unilaterally if the move would affect the other parent’s time. You need the other parent’s written consent or a court order. The court applies Tropea v. Tropea, weighing each parent’s good faith, the child’s attachment to both parents, whether a workable schedule can preserve the other relationship, the economic and educational benefit to the child, and the effect on extended family. Moving first and asking later is the single worst approach.
Does an equal parenting schedule eliminate child support?
No. Under the Child Support Standards Act the parent with the greater income is often designated the payor even where overnights are equal, and support is calculated from combined parental income and the statutory percentages. A shared schedule can affect the calculation and the add-on expenses, but it does not cancel support by itself.
About the Author
Brian D. Perskin, Esq.
Brian D. Perskin is the founder of Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C., a divorce and family law firm with offices in Brooklyn and Manhattan. With more than 30 years of experience, he represents parents and spouses across New York City in divorce, child custody, and child support matters. He is the author of Winning Divorce Strategies and How to Win Custody.
Disclaimer: This page provides general information about New York law. It is not legal advice, it does not create an attorney-client relationship, and it is not a substitute for a licensed New York attorney reviewing your situation. Court rules, fees, and forms change.
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