If you are a parent, deciding to get divorced from your partner is only the first of many decisions you will have to make throughout the process. You will eventually need to decide how you want to handle child custody, and you want to make the decision that is optimal both for your child and for your relationship with your partner. In the case that you would like as little as possible to change in your child’s life, you may consider “bird’s nest” co-parenting.
The bird’s nest co-parenting method allows the child or children involved to stay in their home and requires that the parents take turns living in the home with their child and outside of the home, either at their own place or another place that they share with their partner. The “bird’s nest” can be temporary, allowing the child or children to slowly transition out of their familiar home, or more permanent and can continue indefinitely.
What type of couple would qualify for bird’s nest co-parenting?
- Parents who live close to one another or are able to transition easily when necessary
- Ideally, custody will be split fairly evenly between the parents and it is best to avoid situations in which one parent moves in when just visiting
- Parents who are either comfortable taking turns in a shared alternative residence or those who are both willing to pay for their own separate living space
What are the pros of bird’s nest co-parenting?
- Normalcy for the child. Choosing to co-parent using this method shows extreme commitment to your child or children. You are disrupting your life in order to maintain the structure and a semblance of normalcy for your children, and that is admirable yet can also be difficult.
- Possibly lower expenses. If you and your partner are able to share a studio or one-bedroom apartment that you live in when not living with your child, it could significantly cut the costs that divorce and child custody cases tend to incur, especially considering you may only need one set of toys, clothes and more for your child.
What are the cons of bird’s nest co-parenting?
- Continued split costs. By choosing to partially share a home with your partner, you are also agreeing to continue handling the finances, at least in part, together. This could lead to arguments. It is vital that you both set extensive ground rules before agreeing to this arrangement.
- New significant others. Once one or both of you begin seeing someone knew, the lack of privacy could create a bit of tension between you.
- Possibly higher expenses. If you choose not to share your alternate residence with your partner, maintaining three homes can be a barrier.
Co-parenting can be a stressful process, but the bird’s nest co-parenting can be a viable solution for those parents willing to sacrifice some of their own comfort for their child or children.