When most people think of life after divorce and starting over, typically the first thing that pops into mind is dating. While dating is undoubtedly a factor of life following divorce, it is not the only thing that can help you get over the pain and trauma that the whole situation caused. It is essential to take care of yourself before caring for someone else.
In addition to going through a lengthy legal process, following a divorce, you must learn how to do all of the things you used to do with your spouse now on your own. While you may feel drained, exhausted and maybe even betrayed, there is a way to get your life back following a divorce.
Step 1: Grieve
Similar to a loved one dying, divorce is also losing an individual who was influential in your life. In a more real sense, divorce is the “death” of your marriage, hence why grieving may be necessary before you can move on.
Step 2: Remember Who You Are
In marriage, it can be easy to lose yourself and conform to your spouse’s identity, of sorts. However, once you get divorced, there is no longer a “we” but only a “me.” Re-establishing your own identity following a divorce can be hard, but it is essential to do this to move on and create a new life for yourself.
Step 3: Learn to Rely on Yourself
Though it is vital to curate relationships and have individuals in your life that you can rely on, another person should not be the main priority in your life. It is important to put yourself first, and if you found yourself depending on your spouse during the marriage, you must prioritize yourself. Taking up a new hobby or interest can help to get your identity back and make you realize that you don’t need anyone else to be happy.
Step 4: Forgive
While this can be one of the hardest steps following a divorce, forgiving your spouse is the only real way to move on and create a new life. Whether the divorce was mutual or the marriage ended in a traumatic way, forgiveness is difficult, but it is possible. Furthermore, you not only have to forgive your spouse but you also have to forgive yourself. Divorce is never an easy decision, but forgiveness will help you move on and create a better life for yourself. If you are having trouble with this, however, speaking to an attorney who has years of experience with this can help.
Contact an Experienced New York Divorce Attorney
Divorce is never an easy decision. This, however, doesn’t mean it can’t be done amicably. While filing for divorce can be a difficult decision, choosing the right attorney doesn’t have to be. Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. is one of the most trusted names in New York when it comes to divorce. Brian and his experienced team are aggressive, intelligent and strategic. They work diligently with clients and customize representation strategies to fit individual needs. So if you’re looking for a divorce attorney who will fight for you, call Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. today at 1 (718)-875-7584 for your free consultation, and learn why we’re New York’s premier divorce law firm.