Uncontested child custody cases have the potential to turn into nasty battles. Parents can find themselves lost in the family court system, desperate to do whatever it takes to keep custody of their children. Hire an experienced attorney who specializes in child custody matters during this very confusing and stressful time so that you can focus on your children. A good family lawyer will give you a better understanding of the process and what to expect.
Child Custody 101
New York State will award custody based on what is in the best interest of the child. This varies from case to case, so it is impossible to predict what will happen. A judge can take any of the following factors into consideration when ruling in a child custody case:
- Primary Caretaker & Stability: Courts look at which parent has been the child’s primary caregiver. Judges often assume it benefits the child to maintain continuity with that parent. They also consider how long the current living arrangements have been in place, preferring not to uproot a child from a stable environment.
- Parental Health & Home Environment: Each parent’s mental and physical health, lifestyle, and living situation are evaluated to ensure a safe, nurturing home. Evidence of a clean, secure residence and a parent’s ability to provide emotional and intellectual support will be important.
- Child’s Needs & Sibling Bonds: The child’s age, personality, educational and medical needs, and emotional well-being are all factors. The court examines how each parent can meet those needs (schooling, extracurricular activities, special requirements). Judges also consider siblings: generally it is preferable for siblings to stay together, though they may be split if it serves individual best interests. Finally, if the child is sufficiently mature, the court may give some weight to the child’s own custody preference.
While the financial stability of each parent is considered in custody cases, one parent will not lose custody of their child because they make less money than the other party. Unless otherwise agreed upon, custodial parents are entitled to child support.
Step-by-Step Preparation Guide
- Documenting Parenting Involvement: Keep a detailed parenting journal or log. Write down daily and special events (bedtime routines, meals, schoolwork help, outings, etc.) and note the role you played. Courts value consistent caregiving records. Also take photographs or videos of routine and bonding moments. For example, pictures of you playing, reading, or doing crafts with your child vividly illustrate your commitment. (Images like the one above can help personalize your testimony by showing your active role as caregiver.)
- Gathering Supporting Evidence: Collect any documents that reflect your involvement or your child’s life. This includes written communications with the other parent (emails, texts) that show cooperation and arrangements, school report cards, teacher emails, medical and dental records, childcare or tutor receipts, and calendars/schedules of parenting time. Save any artwork or projects your child has made, as these can signal your engagement (and even detail from them can be admissible). If relocation or travel is involved, preserve tickets or notices. Demonstrating organization and continuity (for example, consistent payment of childcare or health expenses) reinforces your reliability.
- Preparing Character References: Ask people who know you and your child to write brief letters about your parenting. Good sources include family members, babysitters, teachers, coaches or close friends – anyone who can attest to your involvement, consistency, and your child’s well-being. These letters should describe what the writer has observed about you as a parent and your child’s needs. Explain to them the situation and ask for honest, supportive statements. While these are not formal evidence, they help the judge understand your reputation and strengths in a personal way.
- Financial Readiness and Stability: Organize financial documentation that shows you can provide for your child. This may include recent pay stubs, tax returns, bank statements, proof of stable housing, and a budget. Even though custody isn’t awarded based on income alone, judges do note financial stability. Importantly, New York courts have made clear that a parent will not lose custody merely for having less income. Still, being able to demonstrate steady employment and a responsible lifestyle (without unnecessary debt or instability) helps reassure the court.
- Mental and Emotional Preparedness: Child custody litigation is stressful; preparing yourself emotionally is just as important as gathering papers. Consider talking to a counselor or support group to manage stress. Stay focused on your child’s well-being rather than personal grievances. As experts advise, prioritize the children’s best interests and shield them from parental conflict. Practice calm, respectful communication with your ex-partner; avoid arguments in front of the child or on social media. Entering a court composed and centered on the child will positively reflect on your case.
- Engaging a Qualified Custody Attorney: A specialized child custody lawyer can guide your preparations and represent you in court. An experienced attorney will know how to gather the right evidence, question witnesses effectively, and apply New York law to your situation. As one New York family law firm notes, an attorney can “relieve some of the stress” of custody proceedings and help you “get a more favorable outcome” by identifying the best custody arrangement for your family. If possible, find a lawyer with strong courtroom experience and a track record in child custody cases, and consult as early as possible
Law Guardians
A judge will often appoint an attorney for a child during a custody dispute. Also known as law guardians, these attorneys will advocate on the child’s behalf. The attorney will interview the child to find out about their home life and any custody preferences. A judge will take the law guardian’s arguments into consideration, but the judge will not base their final ruling solely on this information.
Court Ordered Forensic Examiners and Therapists
In some cases, a judge will issue an order requesting the services of a forensic examiner or therapist. A forensic examiner reviews evidence pertinent to the case, and presents it to the judge. Evidence in child custody disputes can include interviews with parents, other relatives, and even teachers. In special circumstances, a one-on-one meeting with the child is required.
Qualified therapists can act as forensic examiners, and will often use their psychology training to determine what custody arrangement would be in the child’s best interest. A therapist observes interactions between each parent and child, making note of the child’s mood and behavioral changes. Additionally, a therapist can counsel the child throughout the divorce process. The therapist’s observations will guide their recommendations to the court regarding custody and visitation.
Parenting Courses
Depending on recommendations from the law guardian, forensic evaluator, or therapist, a judge may order parents to attend parenting classes prior to issuing a custody decision. The classes serve to educate the parents on the effect divorce or custody proceeding can have on children and to provide the skills necessary to positively co-parent children. In extreme situations, a judge can require a parent to attend a basic parenting course if they have been absent in their child’s life and are now petitioning for visitation or custody rights.
Tips for a Fast Custody Case
The child custody process can be slow since there are many cases being processed in family court. A child custody matter where parents stick to the existing custody or visitation schedule will resolve more quickly. For instance, if you are a stay-at-home parent and are the primary caregiver, don’t suggest to the court that you will seek full-time work and put your children in daycare. Children function best when their routines are disrupted as little as possible, and a judge will take this into consideration when determining custody.
It is important to respect a child’s other parent, and to do your best to abide by any temporary orders of custody or visitation. Follow a schedule, keep the other parent informed of any changes, and provide updates regarding the child’s health, activities, or issues in school. Parental communication will show the court that you are an honest, trustworthy person, and are capable of successfully co-parenting your child.
4 Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Ignoring Court Orders or Communication: Never violate an existing temporary schedule or custody order. Follow court orders precisely (even if they seem unfavorable) and keep the other parent updated on the child’s status. Showing respect for the court’s authority and willingness to cooperate makes a positive impression.
- Badmouthing the Other Parent: Avoid speaking negatively about your ex to the child, in public, or on social media. Judges look unfavorably on parents who undermine the other parent, as it can harm the child. Instead, always speak respectfully (or not at all) about the other parent.
- Delaying Evidence Gathering: Don’t wait until the last minute to gather evidence. Putting together records or contacting references under pressure can lead to gaps. Start early so that nothing is overlooked.
- Poor Self-Presentation: Dress conservatively and behave professionally in court. Being rude, late, or emotional in front of the judge (or showing anger toward the other parent) can hurt your case. Plan ahead to ensure you appear calm, prepared, and focused on your child.
By avoiding these pitfalls and staying child-focused, you strengthen your credibility with the court.
The Role of Mediation and Court-Appointed Experts
New York courts encourage parents to resolve custody disputes amicably whenever possible. While mediation is not always required by law, many counties offer or require a settlement conference or referral to a custody mediator.
Mediation or alternative dispute resolution can save time, legal fees, and emotional strain – and any agreement reached will be reviewed by the judge for fairness and the child’s welfare. Even if mediation does not fully resolve the case, being willing to try it shows the court your cooperative spirit.
In contentious cases, the court may rely on professionals to provide insight. Aside from the law guardian/attorney for the child mentioned above, judges can appoint forensic evaluators (licensed psychologists or social workers) to conduct interviews, home visits, and psychological testing of family members.
These experts observe interactions and assess parenting strengths. Their reports and recommendations can carry significant weight. The court may also order parents to attend a state-approved parent education program to learn co-parenting techniques. By understanding that outside experts might get involved, you can better prepare to answer their questions honestly and cooperatively.
Hire The Best Child Custody Lawyers in Brooklyn
The attorneys at Brian D. Perskin & Associates, P.C. recognize how crucial child custody cases are, which is why we dedicate our practice to family and matrimonial law. Our extensive courtroom experience in New York has led to a significant number of custody cases won on behalf of our clients. If you’re facing a divorce or family law matter and are determined to keep custody of your children, contact us for a free consultation.