If you and your former spouse share custody of your children, you probably know by now that it can be difficult to effectively co-parent. But this is usually necessary when you are raising kids with the help of the other parent. If you want to successfully co-parent your children, pay attention to some tips on making the process a little easier.
Improve Communication
You need to communicate with the other parent, even if you just need to discuss changes to the schedule. But in many cases, talking on the phone is not always a good solution since this can end in arguments. Not only does arguing not solve the problem, but it can also distress the kids. That’s why some parents choose to text message or email their former spouse in order to get a message across.
This way, you have some time to react to news from the other parent. When you converse on the phone, it can be easy to fly off the handle before you even have a chance to calm down and change your attitude. When you communicate through text or email, though, you do not have to respond right away, and your anger or sadness can easily be hidden so that the situation does not escalate. Plus, this way you have a record of what has been said, unlike when you talk on the phone.
Avoid Awkward Situations
You do not both have to go to every event involving your children. If you do not get along, it will be worse for your children to see you both and witness you fighting than it would to only see one of you. So if you cannot get along even for a few minutes, you should arrange for only one of you to attend parent-teacher meetings, birthday parties, or recitals and games. Of course, if you are both able to attend functions without seeing each other or talking, you can arrange to do so.
Ignore Threats
It is common for one or both parents to threaten each other. Whether your ex is emailing or calling you with threats, it is best to ignore them. As long as you know you are providing a safe place for your kids, you likely have nothing to worry about. You can always let your divorce lawyer know about the threats, but avoid contacting your ex about them. They will probably stop once you do not respond, since sending threats is often just a game for bitter exes.
Hiring a New York Divorce Lawyer
If you are finding it difficult to co-parent, and no tips seem to help, you should mention the issue to your divorce lawyer. We at Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. would be happy to help you solve the problems you have encountered while co-parenting. This is especially true if you think you need a new custody agreement, or if child support payments are always late or even nonexistent. Give us a call if you need assistance raising children after divorce.