Remarrying Your Ex

NeNe Leakes, who shot to reality television show fame on Bravo’s hit Real Housewives of Atlanta, remarried her ex-husband, Gregg Leakes, over the weekend. The two ended their marriage of 13 years in 2011 after their intense arguments and marital tensions were aired on national television. The two love birds reconciled, though, and exchanged vows for a second time in front of 400 family members, friends, and a camera crew.

The Trend of Re-Marriage

Celebrities are prone to re-marrying ex-spouses. For example, Marie Osmond re-married Steve Craig, her first husband, after being divorced for 26 years. The two rekindled their romance after one of Osmond’s sons from a more recent marriage committed suicide in 2010. Other celebrities who have rekindled loss romances with ex-spouses include rapper Eminem and wife Kimberly Scott, actors Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith, and classic Hollywood stars Stephen Crane and Lana Turner.

Celebrities aren’t the only people who are deciding to take a walk down the aisle with their spouse twice. According to a study conducted by California State University psychology professor, Nancy Kalish, Ph.D., 6% of participants re-married the spouses they had previously divorced. Kalish, who also authored Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances reached her conclusion after studying 1,001 couple who got back together between 1993 and 1996.

Motivations for Re-Marrying Ex-Spouses

Michele Weiner Davis, author and founder of the Divorce Busting Center, believes that those who marry, divorce and then re-marry their former spouse is higher than Kalish’s findings. According to Weiner Davis, that number is probably about 10%. She believes that spouses change a lot during the course of a marriage, and instead of growing and changing with each other, they get divorced. Once they realize that they are indeed still compatible and that they still love each other, they will grow closer. This newfound closeness can potentially lead to a rekindled romance and marriage.

So, why do some ex-spouses decide to get back together? There are many reasons, but one example can be when a former spouse goes through a drastic and life changing event. To cite an example from earlier, Marie Osmond was reunited with Steve Craig after her son (from a previous marriage that ended in divorce) committed suicide. Osmond was understandably going through a very rough patch in her life, and Craig came to her rescue. He lent his support to Osmond, and through that act of selfless caring, the two rekindled their long lost romance.

The Challenges of Re-Marriage

While some may hope that their second time marrying a former spouse will be the happily ever after they’ve always wanted, they need to keep in mind that not all second marriages are successful. Sometimes the two spouses haven’t fully addressed and worked through the issues that caused their separation to begin with. Kalish, continuing her study from the 1990’s, found that most of the reunions of the 1,600 couples she spoke with weren’t successful.

If you are considering reuniting with an ex-spouse, proceed with extreme caution. While not every couple will end up getting divorced for a second time, there is always the possibility. Every situation is different, and the success (or lack thereof) comes down to the level of commitment that each individual has. If a union is supposed to work, then it will. If you are considering re-marry your former spouse, but have your doubts, then it is best to avoid the reunion and continue on your own path.

New York Prenuptial Lawyers

Before you take a second walk down the aisle, whether with a former spouse or not, contact Brain D. Perskin and Associates for assistance in drafting a pre-nuptial agreement to protect yourself in the off chance your marriage ends in a divorce or separation. Already re-married? Brian and his team can create a post-nuptial agreement that will satisfy both you and your spouse.

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