Child custody cases in New York can be emotionally exhausting—and painfully slow. While some families appear to reach resolutions quickly, most custody matters take months or even longer to finalize. The backlog in New York family courts, particularly in NYC boroughs, means even straightforward cases can face delays.
So what can you do to speed things up?
The good news is that while you can’t control court calendars or your ex’s behavior, you can influence the overall pace and outcome of your case by focusing on cooperation, preparation, and consistency. Below are key tips to help move your custody case forward—without sacrificing your child’s best interests.
1. Respect the Other Parent’s Role
One of the fastest ways to escalate a custody dispute—and delay a resolution—is to take an all-or-nothing stance. New York courts prioritize the child’s best interests, and that usually means ongoing contact with both parents whenever possible.
Even if you believe your ex has flaws, recognize their role in your child’s life and avoid undermining them. You don’t need to be best friends, but you do need to be co-parents. Judges look favorably on parents who show willingness to collaborate and foster a positive relationship between the child and the other parent.
Your child needs, and probably even wants, both parents, which is why many divorced parents end up sharing joint custody. It is not that these people just get along well with their spouse, but they think of their children’s needs first, which compels them to at least try to co-parent successfully.
Pro Tip: If you’re seen as trying to cut out or alienate the other parent, expect more scrutiny and delays from the court.
2. Don’t Upend the Status Quo
Courts favor consistency. If your current arrangement has one parent as the primary caregiver or one parent handling weekday care, avoid making sudden changes unless there’s a serious reason to do so. Trying to “flip the script” mid-case—like quitting your job to appear more available—can backfire.
Instead, work with what’s already in place and build your custody plan around your child’s current routine. Judges are more likely to approve a plan that reflects stability and minimizes disruption.
If you are already separated and your spouse currently gets the children on weekdays, try to stick with this arrangement, or at least something similar. This gives you the best chance of having your parenting plan agreed to quickly. If you are not happy with the current arrangement, just start out with small changes if necessary, since gradual modifications are best for the children when changes have to take place.
Example: If you’re already separated and your spouse currently has weekday overnights, proposing to keep that structure (or something close to it) may help speed up approval.
3. Stay Cooperative—and Be Ready
Many custody cases drag on because one or both parents are unprepared, miss court dates, or constantly argue over minor issues. Want to move things along? Show up. Be organized. And pick your battles.
Keeping the children in mind when you make decisions should allow you to get through the process quickly. If you are tempted to stall or argue with your spouse, keep in mind that your kids are better served by parents who at least try to get along. It is also best for them to keep the divorce short and simple, so avoid any urges to drag out the custody battle just to make things difficult for your spouse.
Courts reward parents who act in good faith, meet deadlines, provide documentation promptly, and avoid inflammatory behavior. If you create roadblocks—or seem intent on “winning” rather than resolving—you’re only adding time to the clock.
Avoid This: Filing excessive motions or failing to respond to requests from the court or the other parent will always cause delays.
4. Keep the Focus on the Child’s Best Interests
Judges can tell when a parent is more interested in “beating” their ex than doing what’s right for the child. That kind of energy drags down your credibility—and your case.
Whenever you’re tempted to dig in or stall, ask yourself: Is this helping my child? The sooner both parents commit to putting their child first, the faster a resolution becomes possible.
5. Don’t Wait for a Trial—Negotiate When You Can
Trials are costly, emotionally draining, and notoriously slow. Even if you have a strong case, you’re likely to wait several months (or longer) for a full custody hearing. In fact, according to New York family law attorneys, most judges prefer—and encourage—parents to resolve custody matters through mutual agreement.
If you and your ex can’t agree on everything, try to settle the issues you can. Partial agreements reduce courtroom time and show the judge you’re serious about resolving things outside of litigation.
Consider Mediation: It’s often faster, less adversarial, and allows both parents more control over the outcome.
6. File Paperwork Correctly and On Time
It sounds obvious, but one of the most common causes of delays is simple procedural mistakes. Filing incomplete petitions, missing documents, or failing to respond to court notices can stall your case for weeks.
Working with an experienced family law attorney ensures your paperwork is in order and that you’re presenting a strong, organized case from the start.
7. Hire an Experienced New York Custody Attorney
Family law is complex, and the courts are flooded with cases. A seasoned attorney not only understands how to present your case clearly and effectively—they also know the system. They’ll help you avoid missteps that can cost you valuable time.
At Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C., our attorneys bring over 40 years of combined experience in New York family law. Whether you’re pursuing full custody, negotiating a shared parenting plan, or responding to a modification request, we’re here to move your case forward efficiently and strategically.
Let’s Help You Resolve Your Custody Case in New York—Not Prolong It
The custody process doesn’t have to drag on indefinitely. If you’re serious about reaching a faster, child-centered resolution, our team is ready to help.
Contact Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. today to schedule a confidential consultation. We’ll walk you through your options and develop a plan that protects your parental rights while keeping your case on track.