The first holiday season after a divorce can be difficult, but the joyous time of year doesn’t have to be a drag if you remember to keep these 6 simple rules in mind.
1. PUT YOUR KIDS FIRST
Think about how hard the holiday season is for you right now, then multiply that by 10 for your kids. Figure out a holiday co-parenting plan with your ex, then make your children your main focus. Having an enjoyable Christmas or Hanukah during a divorce can make the whole process easier!
2. TREAT YO’ SELF
Divorce is a total upheaval of your life. You break things off with your partner, you may move, and you may lose some friends. It’s a lot to go through. Let go of the stress and negativity, and (in the words of Donna and Tom from Parks and Rec) TREAT YO’ SELF! You deserve it.
3. RE-EVALUATE HOLIDAY TRADITIONS
Don’t participate in certain holiday traditions if they are too painful or make you sad. Make a list of traditions, and eliminate the ones that bring negativity. Add new activities in their place, and start to make new traditions and family memories.
4. DON’T TRY TO “OUT-DO” YOUR EX
You want the holiday season to be special for your children, but turning gift giving into a competition with your ex not only creates unneeded stress and tension, but it can make your kids feel awkward. Try discussing a spending limit, as well as who will buy what, before starting your shopping.
5. DO SOME GOOD
An easy way to lift your spirits is to do a little good for someone else. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, animal shelter, or retirement home. Being on the receiving end of a smile, genuine “thank you”, or hug can do wonders to help alleviate some of the negativity surrounding your divorce.
We know that divorce during the holidays can be tough, especially if you won’t be spending as much time with your kids. Instead of sitting at home and wallowing in your own self-pity, get out there and have some fun! Accept party invites, go shopping with a friend, help a relative make pies… Whatever you do, just make sure you celebrate and have fun!
Divorce is no walk in the park, especially if you have children. It can seem even more daunting once you throw holiday festivities and traditions into the mix. Do your best to follow these 6 rules, and have a wonderful and happy holiday season!
Brian D. Perskin & Associates P.C. has provided intelligent and aggressive representation to New Yorkers for 26 years. The team of experienced attorneys specialize in complex divorce and family law matters. For more information, call 718-875-7584 to discuss your case.