Being grateful while going through a divorce sounds like a tall order. How can anyone expect to be happy when their marriage, one of the pillars upon which they have built a life, is ending? After all, surviving divorce is difficult enough before gratitude enters the picture.
It may sound strange but being grateful while divorcing is not actually that difficult. That does not mean everything will be easy, but feeling gratitude is something you can practice no matter your circumstances. Find out how millions of Americans are surviving divorce with gratitude below.
Gratitude Probably Isn’t What You Think
The first piece of divorce advice we have today is to take a look in the dictionary because being grateful, that phrase so many of us use on a daily basis, probably does not mean what you think. Merriam-Webster defines grateful as an “appreciation of benefits received.” Divorce brings with it many difficult situations and emotions, but it brings just as many benefits. You are now free to live the life you want, for example, or free of an unhealthy relationship. You are forced, through overcoming the challenges inherent to divorce, to grow as a human being. That may sound like nothing more than a new age mantra, but think about the incredible truth it holds for you and your future.
Reframe and Refocus
The next step towards surviving divorce with gratitude is to reframe and refocus. This is simple, though it likely will not be easy. Begin by making a list of difficulties that your divorce has caused. These can be familial, financial, personal, emotional, work-related, or anything else. After you have your list, begin to think about how each of these challenges may, in fact, be an opportunity. Again, simple, but not necessarily easy.
Some examples include:
- Being a single parent means you can raise your children the way you’d like
- You are free to pursue your career like never before
- You are also free to try out new hobbies and interests, or spend time catching up on older ones that may have fallen by the wayside of marriage
- Living alone gives you complete freedom over how to decorate your home. Have you always wanted an ultra-large flat screen? What about a work of modern art? Whatever your style, you can now embrace it
- Surviving divorce means you now know what works, and what does not work, in a relationship. You can start over with a new partner and have the kind of love you want
One way to kickstart gratitude is to begin to journal. Think of this as a way to record the moments when you appreciate the benefits of your divorce and work through the moments when you feel anything but grateful. Both of these are important and can be useful when surviving divorce.
Find out divorce advice for fathers here and divorce advice for mothers here.
Choose the Experienced New York Divorce Lawyers
Want to learn more divorce tips? Then take a look at these articles about everything divorce related. If you are considering divorce, or in the midst of a divorce and want some of New York’s most experienced litigators on your side, call the attorneys at Brian D. Perskin & Associates today at (718) 875-7584 for a free consultation.